steveandtonymakeaporno
whatisthecat:

ninthdoctorsbutt:

jethrocane:

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THIS STUFF
I BOUGHT IT
MONTHS AGO
TRIED IT ONCE
I THOUGHT IT WAS HORRIBLE
IT WAS STICKY AND CEMENTED MY LIPS TOGETHER
IT GOT ON EVERYTHING 
IT DIDN’T SUPER-STAY
I THREW IT INTO MY DRAWER WITHOUT ANOTHER THOUGHT
AND THEN OUT OF THE BLUE I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN
HOPE IN MY HEART, PEACE IN MY SOUL, I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN
I READ THE DIRECTIONS
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, I SAW THE LIGHT
I COULD SEE CLEARLY NOW, THE RAIN WAS GONE
TURNS OUT
YOU HAVE TO PUT THE RED STUFF ON FIRST
WAIT FOR IT TO DRY
COMPLETELY (I MISSED THIS STEP BEFORE)
IT SHOULD BE SO DRY AND IF YOU KISS THE BACK OF YOUR HAND, NO MARK SHOULD SHOW
AND THEN I PUT THE BALM ON (I ORIGINALLY TRIED PUTTING THE BALM ON FIRST…. DON’T DO THAT.)
AND IT GOT RID OF ALL THE STICKINESS
AND THE RED DOESN’T EVEN GET ALL UP IN THE WHITE BALM
IT WAS A MIRACLE 
THIS STUFF IS THE FUCKING BEST
IT STAYS ON FOR A REALLY LONG TIME
IT DOESN’T GET ON ANYTHING
AMAZING I WANT TO BUY THIS IN FORTY SHADES OKAY I ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO TRY IT

NO BUT DO KEEP IN MIND THAT IT REALLY DOES STAY ON FOR A VERY VERY LONG TIME
AS IN, LONG ENOUGH TO FORCE YOU TO SCRUB IT OFF AT THE END OF THE DAY
THIS STUFF ISN’T FOR THE WEAK, THIS IS FOR THE POWERFUL BADASSES WHO WASH THE BLOOD OF THEIR ENEMIES OUT OF THEIR CLOTHES AT THE END OF THE DAY LIKE ITS NOTHING

YO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THAT THING
THAT IS A DREAM COME TRUE BUT ALSO A NIGHTMARE LIKE
THIS IS ME JUST BEFORE WENT OUT THE WHOLE DAY

HELL YEAH I FELT HELLA CUTE AND POWERFUL RIGHT THIS IS THE POWER RED LIPSTICK HAS ON ME
WELL LATER I RETURN HOME AND CHANGE GLASSES AND WOWIE IT’S STILL THERE AWESOME

THEN JUST FOR SCIENCE I DECIDED TO SLEEP WITH IT OKAY
I WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY LIKE THIS

AND THEN AGAIN FOR SCIENCE, I DIDN’T RUB IT OFF AT THE SHOWER JUST TO SEE IF IT WAS WATERPROOF TOO AND

I DON’T KNOW HOW LONG WOULD THAT HAVE LASTED IF I DIDN’T TAKE IT OFF AFTER THAT PHOTO BUT LET ME TELL YOU THIS MUST BE MADE OF THE BLOOD OF OUR ENEMIES I ACCEPT NO OTHER EXPLANATION

whatisthecat:

ninthdoctorsbutt:

jethrocane:

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THIS STUFF

I BOUGHT IT

MONTHS AGO

TRIED IT ONCE

I THOUGHT IT WAS HORRIBLE

IT WAS STICKY AND CEMENTED MY LIPS TOGETHER

IT GOT ON EVERYTHING 

IT DIDN’T SUPER-STAY

I THREW IT INTO MY DRAWER WITHOUT ANOTHER THOUGHT

AND THEN OUT OF THE BLUE I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN

HOPE IN MY HEART, PEACE IN MY SOUL, I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN

I READ THE DIRECTIONS

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, I SAW THE LIGHT

I COULD SEE CLEARLY NOW, THE RAIN WAS GONE

TURNS OUT

YOU HAVE TO PUT THE RED STUFF ON FIRST

WAIT FOR IT TO DRY

COMPLETELY (I MISSED THIS STEP BEFORE)

IT SHOULD BE SO DRY AND IF YOU KISS THE BACK OF YOUR HAND, NO MARK SHOULD SHOW

AND THEN I PUT THE BALM ON (I ORIGINALLY TRIED PUTTING THE BALM ON FIRST…. DON’T DO THAT.)

AND IT GOT RID OF ALL THE STICKINESS

AND THE RED DOESN’T EVEN GET ALL UP IN THE WHITE BALM

IT WAS A MIRACLE 

THIS STUFF IS THE FUCKING BEST

IT STAYS ON FOR A REALLY LONG TIME

IT DOESN’T GET ON ANYTHING

AMAZING I WANT TO BUY THIS IN FORTY SHADES OKAY I ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO TRY IT

NO BUT DO KEEP IN MIND THAT IT REALLY DOES STAY ON FOR A VERY VERY LONG TIME

AS IN, LONG ENOUGH TO FORCE YOU TO SCRUB IT OFF AT THE END OF THE DAY

THIS STUFF ISN’T FOR THE WEAK, THIS IS FOR THE POWERFUL BADASSES WHO WASH THE BLOOD OF THEIR ENEMIES OUT OF THEIR CLOTHES AT THE END OF THE DAY LIKE ITS NOTHING

YO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THAT THING

THAT IS A DREAM COME TRUE BUT ALSO A NIGHTMARE LIKE

THIS IS ME JUST BEFORE WENT OUT THE WHOLE DAY

HELL YEAH I FELT HELLA CUTE AND POWERFUL RIGHT THIS IS THE POWER RED LIPSTICK HAS ON ME

WELL LATER I RETURN HOME AND CHANGE GLASSES AND WOWIE IT’S STILL THERE AWESOME

THEN JUST FOR SCIENCE I DECIDED TO SLEEP WITH IT OKAY

I WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY LIKE THIS

AND THEN AGAIN FOR SCIENCE, I DIDN’T RUB IT OFF AT THE SHOWER JUST TO SEE IF IT WAS WATERPROOF TOO AND

I DON’T KNOW HOW LONG WOULD THAT HAVE LASTED IF I DIDN’T TAKE IT OFF AFTER THAT PHOTO BUT LET ME TELL YOU THIS MUST BE MADE OF THE BLOOD OF OUR ENEMIES I ACCEPT NO OTHER EXPLANATION

ssfrostiron

tonyloki:

T O N Y L O K I ' S   R E C   P A G E S

These are a collection of my favourite fanfiction and art pieces. The content won’t be strictly Tony/Loki, but I can guarantee that 88% of it will be.

FIC RECS
‣  sorted alphabetically by title
‣  filtering by categories
‣  searchable tags
‣  easy to-the-top scrollbar next to category buttons
‣  inbuilt ask box
‣  10 star rating system based entirely on my personal preferences—you only see up to 5 stars since the first 5 are a given

ART RECS
warning: this page is very graphic intensive

‣  sorted alphabetically by artist
‣  on image hover:
      ›  filter by artist
      ›  direct link to art post
      ›  reblog button
‣  filtering by categories
‣  searchable tags
‣  easy to-the-top scrollbar next to category buttons
‣  embedded youtube videos are playable, but not recommended
‣  inbuilt ask box

These pages are nowhere near up-to-date, and I’m still in the process of populating it when I have the time. If you encounter any mistakes (particularly with permalinks and/or coding) I’d really appreciate if you’d let me know. •͈ᴗ•͈

Super thanks to rngrn for letting me use her art for nefarious purposes, and to seizure7 for putting up with my agonised screaming over broken code for far too many nights. ♥

BEST VIEWED IN CHROME OR SAFARI.